The Family Role You Have Outgrown

You may become forty, fifty, or sixty and still enter a family room where everyone unconsciously hands you the same old costume.

The responsible one. The difficult one. The peacemaker. The baby. The dramatic one. The one who will fix it.

Roles make families efficient. They also make change inconvenient.

You do not need to announce a revolution.

Simply stop performing parts that no longer fit.

Do not automatically mediate the argument. Do not laugh when the old joke is made at your expense. Do not accept a decision merely because everyone expects your usual response.

They may be confused.

Let them update slowly.

You are allowed to become someone your family history did not predict.