Do not disappear to see whether they chase you. Do not mention someone else to see whether they get jealous. Do not manufacture distance to measure devotion.

Tests feel safer than honest questions because they let us pretend we are merely observing.

But the moment you secretly change the conditions, you are no longer observing the relationship. You are running an experiment on it.

Ask the uncomfortable question instead. The answer may hurt, but at least it will belong to the real relationship.